If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.
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Johnny Depp
Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign,...
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Nick Hornby
Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.
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Jenny Han
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
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Elbert Hubbard
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the...
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Woody Allen
More Quotes By Fred Allen
California is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.
All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.
A group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
